Oceans of Doubt

3880BC09-D416-4AC3-B837-1F68B132731DWhen I think about all the things that occurred over the last three years of my life, I Thank God that He never left me. 

The enemy was on such a mission to take me out, I now see a glimpse as to why he was fighting against me so hard. While going through, I know that he was just not fighting me, but he was fighting my purpose. 

I KNOW there are blessings God has for me. Not just for me but those connected to me. This was not the first, second or third attempt to take me out. 

This time was the first time I had the weapons and tools for the battle I was about to face.  Multiple times I was hit and thrown off, not feeling like I could get through. I often found myself wondering if I had become a deserted soldier, something like a POW. 

A, POW is a prisoner of war.  A prisoner of war is defined as a person who is captured and imprisoned by the enemies’ camp. 

As a prisoner of war you find yourself surrounded by the enemy in a land that you have no power in.  When captured you are separated from the rest of the troop. The soldiers you were fighting with, are nowhere to be found.  The tools, weapons you have been trained to use are stripped from you as the enemy is aware that he must isolate you while you are imprisoned.  While a prisoner of war – you can never rest, never feel at ease, you are on constant high alert. Fearful for what the enemy may try. After long periods behind enemy lines you can become sleep deprived, anxious and begin to experience symptoms of post traumatic stress syndrome. 

Depending on the enemy’s goal, he may make you think that no one is looking for you, there is no way to escape and your only option is to give up and give in to the battle not only physically but emotionally and spiritually.  The enemy knows that if he can break your spirit, then he can also hinder your mission. If he hinders your mission, then he has cut off your purpose and then he has ultimately won. 

But did you know that the fight is already fixed?? Christ won the war when He hung on that cross and rose again after three days. 

So while in this battle, I can tell you for sure – I felt like I was all alone, isolated and imprisoned. The feeling that you get when you are lost and in a dark place with everything that you are use to carrying seems like it has been taken. I’m so glad that the enemy could not take God’s word that was within me.  Read Matthew 4:4.  Prior to the battle, I had spent time with my Father and in his Word daily so when it came time for the test or this battle, I was stripped from the things and people I was use to.   Do you realize you do not know how much you have retained until what you thought you knew is put to the test?

I want to encourage you to not give up in battle. Remember there is a purpose and plan in EVERYTHING.  

I have four children and a brother, the Lord has allowed me to influence. When I tell them to do something or assign chores or a task – they may feel like my requests (in most cases, a demand) is pointless. That I’m hindering the things they have planned for their life (video games, extra sleep, time to just hang with their friends). They won’t realize until later that those tasks and assignments prepared them for the things in life they will encounter. 

The task of doing what is asked or going through a rough place may not make sense but trust God even when you can not trace Him. 

Psalms 118:6a The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. 

 “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.” – Isaiah 43:2 NLT

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