No human relationship will test our understanding of love more than marriage. If you’re like us, you’ve fought to love each other in your marriage but have often fallen short. Where is the disconnect? If “love never fails,” why does it . . . fail?
The deepest disagreements you will experience as a married couple always have to do with your objective view of love and the expectations that come along with it. This materialized early on in our marriage whenever we’d argue about quality time. I need quality time to feel loved. However, my husband doesn’t need it as much, and he’d often work late into the evening thinking that he was actively loving me by providing. I felt utterly unloved if he was absent. He felt unloved if his work went unappreciated.
In other words, our own views of love are subjective. We need an external standard. Only then do we realize that the imperfect moments in marriage are our most potent opportunities to love FULLY.