Does God care about who I choose as a Spouse?

Often times we look for the person that makes us feel good, who we click with.  What happens when we check with God first and really listen to what He says?  Can we walk away if God says no (that’s not the one) or stay?  Even if that person is not your ‘type’?

Relationships carry ENOUGH challenges, you do not want to add the fact of ‘am I suppose to be with this person’ – in that equation.

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.” – Proverbs 18:22

Check out ‘Immerse in the Flood’ for more videos on marriage and families.

A discussion on faith in marriage, traditional families and blended families. “Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”
Ecclesiastes‬ ‭4:12‬ ‭

The things of God

People’s perception of God is from a distorted view of their life’s exchanges.

Through the filtered lens of their experiences, feelings and beliefs. Our minds can not conceive the things of God. Our thinking is too limited. When we figured out one thing, God reveals other areas of our limits. 

I’ve learned to be open to wherever God chooses to dwell.  Not to put my thoughts or how I think God ‘should’ feel.

Not to think I know what He will do. 
God is not subject to my will, though He promises to hear me when I call and will consider my desires.  He is God all by Himself.

He doesn’t need my help. The God I serve is a Healer, Redeemer and Restorer.

He has granted us gifts, wisdom and discernment as a way to reveal Himself.

God will bless who He wants, reach people in places they think He can’t go. He is not limited to a place, space, time or circumstances. 
God is not afraid of the things we are afraid of.  He made ALL things – He knows the heart of everything He created.  

Think about when people say ‘God is going to do this, God is going to show this person that?’ He knew about that thing before your mind conceived it, before you were exposed to the action or behavior. 

Let the Word and the love of God line up with what we think we know. 

“No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit.” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭2:11‬ ‭NLT

 “Who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to teach him?” ‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭2:16‬b NLT‬‬

“There is no other god like you, O Lord; you forgive the sins of your people who have survived. You do not stay angry forever, but you take pleasure in showing us your constant love.”
‭‭Micah‬ ‭7:18‬ ‭GNT‬‬

“God’s way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.”
‭‭2 Samuel‬ ‭22:31‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“God’s way is perfect. All the Lord’s promises prove true. He is a shield for all who look to him for protection.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭18:30‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to him for protection. Do not add to his words, or he may rebuke you and expose you as a liar.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭30:5-6‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Balance – Silence

We had a bible study with some of the ladies a few weeks ago on balance in our lives and areas where balance is crucial. 

Reflecting on the ‘What is your motive?’ blog : Don’t allow your silence to be used as an excuse to avoid areas God is trying to get you to address. 

Silence is an indication of strength but used in the wrong way can actually reflect weakness or disobedience.(I’m thinking of Jonah, God told him to speak on somethings to a people Jonah didn’t want to talk to). 

Pray for wisdom and discernment. 

Balance is key in every area ofour lives. 

Scripture Reference:

Jonah 1:1-3

What is your motive?

It was not until I could truly receive what God’s Word said about me. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” ‭‭ 2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Only then can you release the dysfunction attached to your life.

Why commit, hold on to that which no longer serves where you are going?
I’ve come to realize that some do not know who they are without the dysfunction or the pain. They know how to operate in their weakness. They can not identify who they are as whole individuals.

They say to themselves:

Why get rid of the hurt when I know how to curse people out when they cross me?

 Why can’t you accept what it looks like when you can walk away – knowing that silence represents strength. It takes strength to hold back something that is untamed. 
You are actually weak when you ‘can’t control’ your emotions. 

You really are scared of what it looks like when people ‘cross’ you and you don’t respond negatively. 

Why accept a good guy, when I know how to function with the guy who cheats on me? Why do I love the abuse of his brokenness that leaves me crying every time he shows who he really is?

They should really be asking themselves:

Did God tell me to connect to that person in the first place?

Am I trying to play God? Am I trying to fix him? 

You really want someone to fix you, not give up on you. Or do you feel better thinking you ‘made’ him better?     Like he’s a project. 

You are not and can not be God to him. You can’t even be God to your self.  Let God be God.

 Pray for maturity, strength, wisdom, courage and revelation of His Word in your life. 🙏🏾

Be The Example

Be the example of your deepest desires, even when it’s not easy and stand firm. We can not control what’s happening around us but can control what’s happening within us. I know, I know, it’s easier said than done when going through a storm but I did it and I KNOW you can too!

Phillipians 4:13, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Now just like anything else, this will not happen overnight. It takes practice and with intentional efforts. Thereafter, it will become second nature to you. For example, although your husband may be running wild, rejecting you and God and not being respectful….stand firm! Stay true to yourself and who God has called you to be. Whatever you did as a wife and mother before this behavior emerged, continue doing it. Cooking, cleaning, communicating, reaffirming your love, reaffirming God’s love…no matter what and no matter how tough, just keep doing it! Trust me, it is hard but you have to! Why? You have a devil to fight. You have to see your husband as a child of God. He has to see God through you, in the way you walk and talk. Doing this shows you took your vows between you both and God seriously. So stay committed and fight the good fight. As a wife, you are his helper…so help! Pray, speak life into your husband and situation and walk with confidence because we serve a great God. You have the victory and it will be done! If you sit back, nothing will be done and the devil will win and take over.

I know as the man of the household, you desire him to be the teacher and preacher of the house and to lead as God intended. However, from experience….you just may have to be the one to take the lead. No, this won’t be for eternity because naturally (as a man) he will want to take the lead and will eventually become strong enough to be able to turn it around and become that teacher and preacher of the house as you’ve been longing for. Be the example.


What’s the Issue?

It could be you……

Professionally and Spiritually, I’ve learned that part of the key to success is being able to accept and process the difficult things about ourselves or those we surround ourselves with.

Look at the differences between what we consider good people (or leaders) and bad people (or leaders).

We learned in, Chosen with Esther Devotional – Day 3 and many other areas in the bible where the root of a person’s demise begins.  King Xerxes surrounded himself with ‘Yes people’ because he did not want to hear the truth about his decisions and actions.  They did everything to keep him happy, even when it was not for his benefit.

Their desire to keep him happy eventually changed and could have had detrimental effects to not only his kingdom and everything he worked for but also his life.  He had to shift and listen to wise counsel.

How many times has God tried to tell you something that you just ignored and turned to what felt better?

If you find yourself stagnant or in the same cycle or surrounded by people who are not moving forward?  Consider the fact that you could have dismissed wise counsel.  You rejected the words that hurt (though there were good intentions), counsel that did not match the direction you thought you knew.  

I’ve learned that successful people (present and in scripture) with purpose, direction and relationship of their true calling will not sit around to keep telling you something God has tried (or already) spoken to you.  Matthew 10:14 says ‘If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.’ (You may also reference Mark 6:11)

Excerpt from Chosen with Esther Devotional – Day 3:

  • What voices have you surrounded yourself with?
  • Can the people in your life tell you difficult, uncomfortable things?
  • Or have you groomed your relationships to only tell you what you want to hear?

Book: Chosen with Esther by David Ramos

Let this be your prayer: 

“God I want to be whole – well in my body, mind, will, emotions and spirit.  You have given me Your word precisely so that it could shape my life.  You will provide wise counsel and individuals to support my growth in You.  Help me to listen even when it is difficult.  In Jesus Name. Amen”

I want more…


I want more than holidays and birthdays.

I want more than casual glances and high fives.

I want more than stolen moments of you with the kids.

I want more than good mornings and good byes.

I want more than I pray you have a blessed and safe day.

I want more than I hope you have a good night.

I want more than a casual hangout in the car.

I want more I want more of you.

I want more I want more of us.

I want more I want more of we.

I want more of what we never had.

I want more of what could have been.

I want more of you after growth.

I want to give you more of me.


I want more knowledge of who I’m am because then and only then will I truly know if you are my “I want more.”

When you’re mourning the end of a relationship that (in your mind) was supposed to be your happily ever after, it’s hard to accept the reality that it failed. I find myself going through a roller coaster of states of mind.

I want more of you, was my yesterday.

Today I want more for and of myself.

Only God knows my tomorrow.

The true testimony is that God has kept me through it all, my yesterday, my today and what is in store for my tomorrow