Balance – Silence

We had a bible study with some of the ladies a few weeks ago on balance in our lives and areas where balance is crucial. 

Reflecting on the ‘What is your motive?’ blog : Don’t allow your silence to be used as an excuse to avoid areas God is trying to get you to address. 

Silence is an indication of strength but used in the wrong way can actually reflect weakness or disobedience.(I’m thinking of Jonah, God told him to speak on somethings to a people Jonah didn’t want to talk to). 

Pray for wisdom and discernment. 

Balance is key in every area ofour lives. 

Scripture Reference:

Jonah 1:1-3

What is your motive?

It was not until I could truly receive what God’s Word said about me. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” ‭‭ 2 Corinthians‬ ‭5:17‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

Only then can you release the dysfunction attached to your life.

Why commit, hold on to that which no longer serves where you are going?
I’ve come to realize that some do not know who they are without the dysfunction or the pain. They know how to operate in their weakness. They can not identify who they are as whole individuals.

 
They say to themselves:


Why get rid of the hurt when I know how to curse people out when they cross me?


 Why can’t you accept what it looks like when you can walk away – knowing that silence represents strength. It takes strength to hold back something that is untamed. 
You are actually weak when you ‘can’t control’ your emotions. 


You really are scared of what it looks like when people ‘cross’ you and you don’t respond negatively. 


Why accept a good guy, when I know how to function with the guy who cheats on me? Why do I love the abuse of his brokenness that leaves me crying every time he shows who he really is?

They should really be asking themselves:

Did God tell me to connect to that person in the first place?

Am I trying to play God? Am I trying to fix him? 

You really want someone to fix you, not give up on you. Or do you feel better thinking you ‘made’ him better?     Like he’s a project. 

You are not and can not be God to him. You can’t even be God to your self.  Let God be God.

 Pray for maturity, strength, wisdom, courage and revelation of His Word in your life. 🙏🏾

Be The Example

Be the example of your deepest desires, even when it’s not easy and stand firm. We can not control what’s happening around us but can control what’s happening within us. I know, I know, it’s easier said than done when going through a storm but I did it and I KNOW you can too!

Phillipians 4:13, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Now just like anything else, this will not happen overnight. It takes practice and with intentional efforts. Thereafter, it will become second nature to you. For example, although your husband may be running wild, rejecting you and God and not being respectful….stand firm! Stay true to yourself and who God has called you to be. Whatever you did as a wife and mother before this behavior emerged, continue doing it. Cooking, cleaning, communicating, reaffirming your love, reaffirming God’s love…no matter what and no matter how tough, just keep doing it! Trust me, it is hard but you have to! Why? You have a devil to fight. You have to see your husband as a child of God. He has to see God through you, in the way you walk and talk. Doing this shows you took your vows between you both and God seriously. So stay committed and fight the good fight. As a wife, you are his helper…so help! Pray, speak life into your husband and situation and walk with confidence because we serve a great God. You have the victory and it will be done! If you sit back, nothing will be done and the devil will win and take over.

I know as the man of the household, you desire him to be the teacher and preacher of the house and to lead as God intended. However, from experience….you just may have to be the one to take the lead. No, this won’t be for eternity because naturally (as a man) he will want to take the lead and will eventually become strong enough to be able to turn it around and become that teacher and preacher of the house as you’ve been longing for. Be the example.

 

What’s the Issue?

It could be you……

Professionally and Spiritually, I’ve learned that part of the key to success is being able to accept and process the difficult things about ourselves or those we surround ourselves with.

Look at the differences between what we consider good people (or leaders) and bad people (or leaders).

We learned in, Chosen with Esther Devotional – Day 3 and many other areas in the bible where the root of a person’s demise begins.  King Xerxes surrounded himself with ‘Yes people’ because he did not want to hear the truth about his decisions and actions.  They did everything to keep him happy, even when it was not for his benefit.

Their desire to keep him happy eventually changed and could have had detrimental effects to not only his kingdom and everything he worked for but also his life.  He had to shift and listen to wise counsel.

How many times has God tried to tell you something that you just ignored and turned to what felt better?

If you find yourself stagnant or in the same cycle or surrounded by people who are not moving forward?  Consider the fact that you could have dismissed wise counsel.  You rejected the words that hurt (though there were good intentions), counsel that did not match the direction you thought you knew.  

I’ve learned that successful people (present and in scripture) with purpose, direction and relationship of their true calling will not sit around to keep telling you something God has tried (or already) spoken to you.  Matthew 10:14 says ‘If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet.’ (You may also reference Mark 6:11)

Excerpt from Chosen with Esther Devotional – Day 3:

  • What voices have you surrounded yourself with?
  • Can the people in your life tell you difficult, uncomfortable things?
  • Or have you groomed your relationships to only tell you what you want to hear?

Book: Chosen with Esther by David Ramos

Let this be your prayer: 

“God I want to be whole – well in my body, mind, will, emotions and spirit.  You have given me Your word precisely so that it could shape my life.  You will provide wise counsel and individuals to support my growth in You.  Help me to listen even when it is difficult.  In Jesus Name. Amen”

I want more…

THEN

I want more than holidays and birthdays.

I want more than casual glances and high fives.

I want more than stolen moments of you with the kids.

I want more than good mornings and good byes.

I want more than I pray you have a blessed and safe day.

I want more than I hope you have a good night.

I want more than a casual hangout in the car.

I want more I want more of you.

I want more I want more of us.

I want more I want more of we.

I want more of what we never had.

I want more of what could have been.

I want more of you after growth.

I want to give you more of me.

NOW

I want more knowledge of who I’m am because then and only then will I truly know if you are my “I want more.”

When you’re mourning the end of a relationship that (in your mind) was supposed to be your happily ever after, it’s hard to accept the reality that it failed. I find myself going through a roller coaster of states of mind.

I want more of you, was my yesterday.

Today I want more for and of myself.

Only God knows my tomorrow.

The true testimony is that God has kept me through it all, my yesterday, my today and what is in store for my tomorrow

Stay Focused

God has been working on me in this particular area and I wanted to share in hopes that it will be a blessing to another woman of God. Remember your testimony, journey and blessings are meant to be shared, so that it will be a blessing to another and that God will get the glory. In order to continue to get poured into, you must pour out into others.

As women, we wear a lot of hats and are ALWAYS doing something, on the run and checking things off the extensive laundry list. Well, God put it on my heart to share some wisdom with you all and tell you to “stay focused”. You must be IN the moment with whomever you are with and wherever you are located. Stop being in your crazy thought life of dwelling on what happened or what is to come. He has it all figured out and He just wants you to be in the moment and stay focused on the present. For example….Enjoy your child going on and on telling you about their day at school, even when you’re drained and tired trying to figure out why the clinical rounds meeting went the way it did and/or how you will complete the next task on your list. Make eye contact with that precious gift from God (they are not a burden), not looking at your phone and really engage with them. Because before you know it they will be grown, won’t want to be around you, won’t want to talk to you or need you due to independence. Also, let’s not forget that tomorrow isn’t promised to anybody, even for the little ones. I leave you with this….Yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn’t here yet, so ENJOY what’s right here and right now, stay focused!!!

Amen! 🙏🏽

Still Standing…

I am using this platform as a no judgement zone. I have these emotions about my life circumstances. Writing is therapeutic for me. Before I share I want to thank you for taking this journey with me. I might not always post things you like. But it’s My Reality, My Growth process…

You ask, how is it I am still standing?

After…

-relocating across the world

-leaving my family, my home, the place where I grew up

-leaving a full time job with no idea of where I would land

-finding out after only been in a foreign land for 2 1/2 months that I wasn’t

enough for my husband

-going back and forth being lied to that it had stopped for a year

-to after only a year, being told that he wants a divorce

-did I mention having three kids all under the age of 10

-to being nonexistent in his life, feeling like an after thought

-to only speaking if it involves the kids

-to dropping off my kids at random public locations in the morning

-to just 2-5 minutes interactions

-many sleepless nights

-many slobber fest cries

-All while still be stuck in a state of loving him but not being able to do or say anything to change my situation

You still want to know?

ITS By the Grace of God…

Through all the stuff I mentioned from above…

-I landed a full time contracted position by only doing a phone interview before we even made it across the world to our new home

-to a month and a half later, finding a full time permanent job

-to finding a community of powerful women of God both seasoned and growing

-to finding great coworkers some whom have become friends

-to buying a beautiful house just only after having had been here a year

-to receiving a 9k plus grant for a down payment

-to having to put no money down

-to learning so much about myself

-to being in a space where I’m open to learning about myself

-to being committed to being my best

self

You see I won’t lie it’s not easy and I have my moments, but I truly believe God has kept me and continues to bless me through my storm, because He knows the Woman He’s designed me to be and the Woman who will come out of this on the other side. Even through my down times, I encourage you to Be Still, hear from God. Proverbs 46:10 Be still and know that I am God. He didn’t promise it would be easy. But it’s through Him that our help will come. It’s true that when we are weak we are strong. If He will bring you to it, He will bring you through it. I’m still standing because of God’s love and grace. Through it all He has not left me nor has He forsaken me. He has shown me the peace in the midst of the storm. This encouragement is not only for you it’s for me as well. Be still and hear from the Lord. Seek Him in all that you do. My story is not is not unique, but if I can encourage one woman that, even though the road ahead looks rough and the cards that you are being dealt are less than ideal, God can and will show up and show out. Even though I’m experiencing something that I’d arguably consider to be the worst things that I’ve had to deal with in my life… when I look back, God has continued to bless me in other areas of my life beyond my imagination. My word from God in this season of my life has been, Be Still.

I don’t know who this is for, but to you, you Strong, Beautiful, Courageous WOMAN, I encourage you to Be Still and hear from God.